the idea
the note on the office fridge. everyone has read one and most people have written one, which is why it works as a form: the reader knows exactly how polite it is supposed to be and exactly how much rage sits under that.
the word cap arrives second, at 80, so everything after it has to fit on a sheet of a4 held up with tape.
the first meter asks for the note itself, as it would be taped to the fridge, rather than a description of such a note. a paragraph that says "this is a polite note about a missing lunch; the writer stays courteous, says whoever has it will have a bad time, and explains the revenge already happened" scores 0.95 on "written in the form of a note" and above the line on every other meter, because it names them all. on the note-itself wording it scores 0.11, and a real note 0.75 or better.
the words
rule 5 bans stole, stolen, steal, thief, theft, took and take. the theft still has to be the subject, so the lunch has to have left, gone walkabout, been relocated, found a new home. office euphemism was always the register of these notes and the ban just makes it mandatory.
the climb
politeness is locked in at rule 3 and has to survive everything after. the lunch gets described in loving detail, then the culprit is told they will have a bad time, then the writer has to show concern for their wellbeing. each of those is a normal fridge-note move, and together they are not.
the polite meter asks about manner, not tone. "the tone is polite" read the menace as rudeness and fell to 0.35 on notes that were saying please. "maintains a courteous, friendly manner" holds at 0.75 or better on the same notes and still gives a note that says "you absolute parasite" 0.01.
the turn
rule 8 says the revenge has already happened. the note was never a warning, and every polite line above it was the writer watching the clock. "do look after yourself this afternoon" is the same sentence before and after rule 8, which is the whole trick.
the meter asks how the revenge was done, not whether. a draft that just says "my revenge has already happened" would clear a meter that only asked whether (0.94). on this one it scores 0.20, so the player has to say what was in the aioli.
rule 9 brings the rest of the office back in. they are reading this too, and they need to know about the second-floor toilets.